| listless - Tuesday, February 8, 2005 2:44 pm
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Nothing even matters anymore
soon this will all be behind me
I am so sad
I am so pathetic
Yesterday I got passed up for a promotion, again
I fucking hate this place
I hate my life
I just wish I wasn't so tired.
I wish I wasn't in so much pain
I want the pain to end
Hopelessness abounds
I cannot compete
I am so worthless
I am nothing compared to him
I am so stupid
what have I done?
Things have been so hard for me
and so hard for Isis especially
I can't take this much longer
It's okay, I'll fix everything
Everything is going to be fine...
Everything is going to be fine...
Everything is going to be fine...
Everything is going to be fine...
Everything is going to be fine...
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| DUALITY : Feminine | SYMBOL : The Fish | SPECIAL COLOR : Pale Green & turquoise | | TRIPLICITY : Water | DOMINANT KEYWORD : I Believe | ANIMALS YOU RULE : Fish | | QUALITY : Mutable | LUCKY NUMBERS : 2 & 6 | METAL : Platinum | | RULING PLANET : Neptune | LUCKY DAY : Friday | TREES : Fig & Willow |
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| invisible - Monday, January 31, 2005 12:49 am
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In my mind's eye, every time we steal a fleeting look,
The colors in our iris' shatter in to tiny piercing shards of glass.
No words need be spoken, the messages are lucid
The stars are shifting above our heads
Vicious forces pillage my heart
And I see them in yours as well
I escape quickly and quietly
Running blindly into the night
Searching for the answers
Feeling for the right things to say
Trying not to be to much of a bother
Trying to get things my way too
see through you like you're invisible
And I am transparent too
We are but ghosts haunting eachother
Each trying to find the love of another
We are but spirits distant and cold
As memories grow faint and old
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a pipe burst and flooded the main electrical closet in the building I work in.
the switch for the entire building was knocked offline because they had to cut the power
why does it seem like there's no one here
it's not as if I am alone of course.... just well, you know
my life cannot continue to be definded through this
why can't things be solids. Everything in life seems so liquid. my hands grasp for a tangible surface but it always seems like it slips through my fingers. What am I grasping for?
happiness
seems like I keep
forgetting
that
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| turmoil - Wednesday, January 19, 2005 10:03 pm
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I am so glad I got my wysiwyg working. Even though I know it doesn't mean much to you It sure was a pain in the ass to get functional
I saw Kat tonight. the tensionis always nervewracking. I really want to get out of here. Living at my parents is okay... but I feel like an intruder whenever I am here I just really want to get my own place. hopefully that will all happen pretty soon
Being free is important
But being alone really sucks
I don't want to be the kind of person that defines myself through my relationships
I gotta get out and do something. Being here
just brings me down
but....
yay snow!
Maybe the university will close sometime soon for snow
I could use a free vacation
couldn't everyone?
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Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
alone
and
feeling
and
peelingcomments
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